› Funny Quotes
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Fred Allen
What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?
Fred Allen
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Fred Allen
Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
Fred Allen
California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
Woody Allen
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
Woody Allen
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Woody Allen
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
Woody Allen
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Woody Allen
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
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